The Old School Lunch

[Exhausted]

I was a little nerve-wracked for the first day of the job but it went very well despite the long traffic riddled commute and heat. It’s been mostly a lot of talking and observing and meeting people but unlike my previous job, these people have their shit together (which admittedly is easier when the population you’re interacting with isn’t throwing stuff at you) and they’re actually going to train me. Boss is disarmingly nice and since it’s in a sort of secluded area where folks rarely go out to lunch, there’s a tight-knight group within the staff. I would be a lot more skeptical about my outlook being the result of some honeymoon phase, but what I really appreciate is that they’ve been very open about some of the stressful aspects of the job.

And 1st impressions go both ways of course so I wonder what they were thinking once I’d left for the day. Hmmm.

But anways, So far so good.

[Jeff Passan, thank you]

A while ago, I wrote about how in professional sports, crimes like domestic violence, rape and sexual assault aren’t taken seriously so much as they’re immediately forgiven if not ignored by the teams, the players, the fans and the media. In the bigs of the NBA, the MLB and the NFL, male athletes who commit domestic violence against their wives or girlfriends are especially given little (if any) penalty or consequence. In other words, the sports world condones the abusive behavior of their male “role models” with their silence and unwillingness to act and speak out against violence against women.

One of the things I pointed out was that while most people in the sports world (and world in general) say “hey, it’s not my business” or “let the law take care of it,” the reality is that every single person in any aspect of the NFL, MLB or NBA can play a part in confronting it. I said very specifically that it is absolutely crucial that sports news agencies and sports writers do not hesitate to write, follow up and make harsh judgements about batterers because when you’re not squelched by Bud Selig or David Stern, you can say what Jeff Passan boldly is in effect saying about Dukes, the Devil Rays and the MLB in his Yahoo! sports column: you’re all full of shit if you’re going to let this guy threaten to kill his ex-wife and do nothing about it.

There aren’t many sports writers with the guts to be honest and say something like this but i’m glad that for today at least, someone did.

[But I guess they can’t since the new blog disabled comments]

Back before I joined forces with November P. to create Hollaback PNW, I was in charge of the mildly disastrous Hollaback Seattle. People still comment on the Seattle blog but mostly on a certain post in which I talked about sexist (and homophobic and racist) t-shirts (which was also cross-posted at Shrub.com and my old blog).

Deciding to include sexist t-shirts as part of Hollaback Seattle and Hollaback PNW is not something that I just did on a whim. The hollaback “formula” if you could call it that, is very clearly concerned with street harassment as its roots are in the subways and sidewalks of New York. I whole-heartedly believe in that mission but to me, wearing a t-shirt that says “millions of myself died on your daughter’s face last night” or some shit is very, very similar to a guy saying “millions of myself died on your daughter’s face last night” (i’m going from memory, but that or something similar, is an actual t-shirt that was sold by a certain website). It’s not the exact same thing, but it’s along the same type of thinking that I was willing to put emphasis on that as a part of what Hollaback PNW does.

The folks who stumbled across the Seattle blog and read the post, don’t really agree:

A frequently overused cliche unfortunately applies here: Lighten up. A T-Shirt isn’t the same as sexual assault, and suggesting otherwise is bullshit — just ask anyone who’s been a victim of the real thing.

People that wear shirts like that make themselves look like assholes. Stop worrying that they don’t respect you; it’s clear that they don’t respect themselves, and they’re doing you a favor by letting you know that they’re not worthy of your respect either.

First of all, I never said that a sexist t-shirt was the same thing as sexual assault so immediately you’re reading something other than the actual post. Second, though it could in theory be sometimes convenient to know that an asshole is an asshole if he wears so on his t-shirt, in practice that’s ridiculous because it just excuses any sexist, racist or homophobic behavior and place the responsibility on the others to just walk away or ignore it.

I feel strongly about this so I felt the need to comment, despite how long it’s been since this has been posted..

I don’t get the big deal. My fiancé loves Tshirt Hell and I also find the contents humorous. I can understand why you are insulted, but you need to understand -it’s a joke-. People who actually mean the things on the tshirts, for example “I belong in the kitchen” with a picture of a girl on it, are indeed assholes. But you have to understand that the shirts are purely sarcasm and poking fun at stereotypes and how seriously they’re taken.
People take things so seriously that saying a word that even suggests anything automatically makes you racist, sexist, or a pig. But it’s not the word. It’s the person.

Tshirt hell is purely for the sake of being controversial. I dislike disrespectful tshirts, but when I do they’re actually being serious and mean what the shirts says.

There is a huge difference between seriousness and sarcasm. You kind of jumped right over the line and assumed that all of it is serious. For example.. Do you seriously think someone really means it when they say they like women ground up in the freezer? I mean god. When you read ‘like I like my coffee’ you think of something normal, warm, maybe sweet, but when you see the back you get something gross and shocking. It’s purely for kicks, for reaction, for shock.
My love of my life also has that shirt and it made me laugh. (he’s no pig, he’s no brutal being, he’s gentle, sweet, and shy, and very kind.) He bought it because he loves sarcastic jokes, and he likes controversial things.

You can hate all people who mean it, all people who wear things that make a statement about the way women should be or stereotypes about other groups.. But be careful before you take it seriously. Not all of those shirts are made to be anything but laughed or gaped at.

So…as long as I preface anything I do with “this is meant to be controversial…I know people aren’t going to like this” i’m out of the woods? Well, then I guess I can go ahead and print those hilarious VT shooting t-shirts i’ve been thinking of because after all, i’m just that much of a “rebel” who doesn’t care and I welcome the big old controversy storm and since I consider myself such a softie on the inside, who cares?

And no, I don’t think people mean this seriously but it doesn’t mean that it’s not offensive. I can’t make this any clearer. Most so called jokes that end up being incredibly offensive to different groups aren’t meant to be serious but what they talk about isn’t a laughing matter. It does not in any way excuse the joke from being a piece of shit or the joke writer from being a piece of shit.

But going back to my hilarious VT t-shirt idea…I wasn’t being serious, I swears! I’m just being sarcastic and witty and pushing the envelope. I mean seriously, can you imagine a comic appearing on the Tonight Show and attempting to make a joke about VT? Any joke. Can you in any capacity see a joke that wouldn’t get a reaction of stunned silence if not a hurtling of boos? It’s because a joke about VT wouldn’t be the least bit funny. We all agree that it’s a horrible tragedy because people died, people were hurt, people suffered in unbelievable ways. Why don’t we think the same way when the jokes are about men killing women, domestic violence or rape?

But that’s only a certain portion of the offensive t-shirts. Many of the t-shirts in question don’t make fun of murder, DV or rape but objectify and degrade women through crude sexual jokes of the most Kappa Kappa Gamma variety. And with this people say, “well, it’s not MURDER is it?” which again, i’m exhausted having to say this again and again to these folks: you cannot compare this oppression with that oppression and say that since once is worse in your eyes that the other doesn’t matter and doesn’t deserve airtime. If people really thought like this, we’d roll our eyes when a kid got into a car accident and broke a limb and talk about how a kid got cancer in Mexico and then talk about how kids in North Korea don’t have food to eat and then kids in Africa don’t have food to eat and are made to be child soldiers.

What i’ve learned from this t-shirt thing is this: people don’t and will not take it seriously (all the t-shirts, from the DV to degrading frat jokes one) because most folks are hell bent on comparing EVERYTHING to do with women as “if it doesn’t involve a vicious beating and rape that resulted in death” then it’s not worth talking about. Realizing that this is how our society situates violence against women, oppression of women is pretty fucking infuriating and depressing because it’s a way of the patriarchy building giant roadblocks in front of itself: it stops people from ever digging deeper when they’re convinced that this is what oppression looks like and anything else is just being too sensitive, if not paranoid.

[Best bit: James Remar from S&TC is “Lord Rayden.”]

Ah, famous words to a famous awful game franchise which led to the original Mortal Kombat movie which was bad but not quite as bad as the sequel, Mortal Kombat: Annihilation (which you can now watch all over and listen to some classic lines again thanks to some user on YouTube). Here’s part one:

[Double damn]

Well, that’s just great. I start work on Wednesday(!) but it suddenly feels like a molar on the left side has to come out because it hurts anytime I put pressure on it which means exclusive food chewing on the right…which I can do for the time being but Tuesday is my only possible day to go to the dentist (assuming he can see me on this short of notice).

I really hope that A) it miraculously goes away somehow in the next hour or B) I get an appointment and the dentist tells me it’s nothing (also since I won’t have dental insurance with this job for another 3 months) or at very worst C) He sees me today and does a small procedure which doesn’t take long and is inexpensive. Worst case scenario D) he has to do a procedure but can’t do it today which means that i’ll somehow have to find time in the next week despite a “no time off” rule for new workers for the first 3 months of “training.”

I wonder if this is related to the wisdom teeth surgery of a month or so back. I hope not. Or with my night-time teethgrinding habits. Yes, i’m a TMJer.

[For a guy who has the word “Chosen 1″ tattooed across his back…]

An American, an American athlete refuses to acknowledge genocide in a foreign nation…refuses to lend his name in bringing awareness to said genocide…refuses to do so largely because he’s concerned how much he’ll get in trouble from the folks who sponsor him who have a great deal of business in a nation linked to the genocide? Is anyone surprised?

I am not one who believes that we should be more sympathetic to celebrities and athletes when it comes to what they do or don’t do for charitable causes, political issues and such. I think people are still a little scarred by the Michael Jordan “because Republicans buy Nikes too” incident and the consequent privilege backlash of “well, why does HE have to say everything, why don’t you ask Larry Bird/John Stockton?” and as such, we’re a little hesitant to really call out the big names, particularly the young players like Lebron, Tiger, Dwayne, Pujols and Jeter.

But even if you’re so self-absorbed that you don’t know that genocides still happen today, you gotta realize that your popularity “on the court/field” does not end there. It’s part of the deal with teams, with sponsors that you are who are you when you’re doing your daily business and talking (or not talking) about your politics in the real world. When you pull a Lebron and don’t put your name behind shunning China for their involvement in Darfur, you are in essence saying “well, i’m just here to play ball. I don’t think about other stuff (but wait, I have to talk to Nike first to see if it’s OK with them that I sign this)” which is an ironic supplement to that ridiculous and offensive team USA basketball salute that the national team (I think Lebron came up with the idea) has been doing recently (instead of sitting there on the podium, they literally do the army/navy/whatever salute) which I know is supposed to be proud of the troops but in reality smacks of “we’re proud of what our troops are doing/our foreign policy.”

The point is, we give too much slack for (and consequently talk down to) someone like Lebron with comments like these:

1) LeBron James is a basketball player, not a policy-maker. He’s 22 years old, still a kid. 2) Signing a piece of paper that says “I will not be a witness” saves how many lives?

So…since he doesn’t work in Congress he has absolutely no role to play in changing things? I’d say that when you’ve surpassed Michael Jordan on the national name/brand recognized rankings for advertisements, you can do just a little bit of word-spreading.

So…he’s 22, “still a kid” which means he’s unable to think about world issues and the implications his contracts have with Nike and the implications Nike’s role in China has with China’s “uhh, we’re really neutral!” role in Darfur? That’s too much for the old noggin? Detroit’s defense is too much to handle right now, you say? I’d hardly say this guy is a kid, either. People can say “oh come on, remember he didn’t even go to college” but that’s a pretty big slight to folks who didn’t go to college and perhaps didn’t graduate high school but still know and care about Darfur. You don’t need the full 4 years at the local state school to know about this. And lastly, this is a man with a child and another on the way. If he’s a kid, then i’d look into some foster parents because kids can’t tell if the formula’s too hot.

So…signing a paper is worthless? Well, that’s just stupid because it doesn’t consider how big of a name Lebron is. Ira Newble, god bless him, isn’t a big name in the real world. Damon Jones, thankfully, is hardly a household fixture. Lebron James, on the other hand, is the biggest name in the whole GD sport, a sport which is quickly becoming more international than baseball, the NHL, golf and the NFL and you’re telling me that his name is going to be worthless? It’s worthless on an autograph for some kid at the Staples Center, it’s not worthless on what the rest of his team signed.

—

But i’m not going to sit here and bash the poor “soon to be richest athlete in the world” “kid” without saying that despite being another athlete/celeb caught up in the athlete/celeb game of “I just play ball. Don’t bother me.” he can use this incident and do enormous good here. He has that voice, especially in the playoffs, to bring attention to it, to admit his lack of awareness and to tell the skeptics about it. How big of a message would it be if Lebron stood up right in the middle of the Eastern conference finals and devote a large part of his media interviews to Darfur? Can you imagine how much attention he could bring if he said that from now on, instead of reading to kids, teaching kids to play ball in some completely athlete oriented charitable, safe, cop-out sort of way…that this was his issue? If he was the chosen one, at least in the NBA world for that issue, that’d be huge.

[Whoops]

Leave it to me to mistakenly forget the “the” of out this blog url for the Flickr profile. Doing so results in something very different.

[Must reads]

Anglofille has a series of posts up about the gruesome Du’a Khalil Aswad “honor killing” murder, links to different news articles (most of the major news outlets haven’t given the story any airtime) and also things that folks oceans away can do about it.

Her main page has a sidebar dedicated to the posts about Khalil Aswad.

[Off-topic: Did everybody hear? Looks like they’re going to make a 28 Months Later to make it a trilogy.]

Icarus-2. Which means that the UN is…Daedalus? Regardless, this looks pretty good.

Like the TV program seXtv, Pink Planet is something I wish more networks and local stations took notice of and picked up for their channels.

Anyways, on a recent episode they briefly interviewed Boy George who, when asked if he thought “it’s a good time to be gay right now”?, had I thought was a hugly important, simple and important-to-hear-it-again-and-again-and-again response which was basically that society should not be so quick to think that homophobia is in any ways, “over.”

He quickly pointed to a recent hate-crime murder while also remembering Matthew Shepard and cautioned against perceiving the acceptance that popular figures such as himself get as any sort of indication that that’s how it is everywhere. I know it’s a kind of “of course” comment in ways but it was just great to hear a celeb be honest about his own sort of privilege and not go the route of “yea, it’s all great cause it’s great for me!”