The Old School Lunch

[I wrote this originally as a “test piece” for a blogging job I applied for. It’s been a while and I haven’t heard back so I’m guessing they didn’t like it. Which, with hindsight, shouldn’t be surprising because as I take a lot of shots on a so-called “progressive” cause and their blog is meant to be, in all ways, “progressive.” Anyways, here it is because writing about those 8 teens beating up that one girl is just too much to write right now.]

If there are two things that generate mass numbers of page-views and trackbacks on the internet, it’s naked women and, well, naked women using their bodies as a form of protest. A recent New York Times article on a vegan strip club in Oregon suggests that the performers there are indeed protesting against animal cruelty and promoting a vegan (or vegetarian) lifestyle (only vegetarian food is served to the largely male patrons and the performers are asked to abandon their leather chaps and feather scarves).

As their owner, Johnny Diablo, told the times, “My sole purpose in this universe is to save every possible creature from pain and suffering.” Except Diablo, shockingly enough, isn’t the one naked and dancing for singles at Casa Diablo’s Gentlemen’s Club which also happens to not be doing so well in business.

So instead of just flat out paying to objectify a woman, you can now pay to gawk at a woman while scarfing a meatless snack and knowing that she’s wearing (or not wearing) only 100% pure cotton.

But for what the vegan strip club doesn’t attract in business, it pushes the public conversation (or at least the Oregon conversation) yet again to what animal rights groups like PETA have made famous for so long. When it comes to drawing attention to animal abuse or promoting a vegan or vegetarian diet, naked female bodies draw attention and apparently it’s worth the price admission. And by “admission” I mean putting to reality the Penthouse’s idea of women.

Take, for instance, some of the most “dugg” Digg.com links regarding anything “PETA.” It should be no shock that pages like “Eva Mendez Nude PETA Campaign ad, WOW!” garner massive hits while a general image search on Google for “PETA” would have you thinking that you accidentally typed in “Playboy.”

You could say the way PETA advertises it’s message is “unusual” or even “controversial” but then again, is it? The formula: Strip women naked or nearly naked, have them parade around or sometimes sit in cages (like the animals they say are suffering) to attract attention. Sound familiar? It should. After all, it’s the male-dominated mass marketing of everything from alcohol to TV shows and popular “horror” films that wrote the book on how to use women’s bodies and the image of women in pain or captivity to sell, sell, sell.

But wait, don’t PETA’s ads also feature naked men? And don’t they also advertise in other ways? Yes, but if the debacle that is naked sushi taught us anything, it’s that having a few naked men getting spicy tuna rolls plucked off their bodies doesn’t exactly make it less degrading that so called “naked sushi models” are almost exclusively women. In other words, in the context of our culture which objectifies women like one’s salary depends on it, having men involved (sushi), trying to recruit men for the cause (general vegetarianism or veganism) or getting men to notice that the women baring it all are beautiful despite what Hollywood says (Suicide Girls), isn’t enough. And as anyone who has promoted any sort of event on any college campus will tell you, if you’re getting most attention from a bullhorn and loud music at the local square, your handing out of flyers at the southeast wing of the Sciences library doesn’t make the bullhorn (and music) any less irritating.

And until animals rights activists drop the act and not their clothes, the conversation will, unfortunately, continue to be largely about how Eva Mendes posed nude (WOW!) and not about how Eva Mendes is speaking out against cruelty to animals.